ID cards in the UK? I WILL NOT COMPLY

My blog has re-awakened from its comatose state in order to highlight this very important issue, which I have to say, gets my blood boiling.

Biometric ID cards in the UK? This is the most preposterous, invasive and downright dangerous policy decision that our government has made in a very long time.

I don't know about you, but

I WILL NOT COMPLY

Please sign this pledge if you agree with me and thousands of other Brits

We must stop this abomination from coming into being. I, for one, will protest till my dying breath if necessary. This is an extreme infringement of our human rights and privacy, and constitutes the State interfering in our lives to an unacceptable extent. The goverment is supposed to work for us, not the other way around.

We already have many of our personal details stored in insecure and inept databases around the world (look at the recent news about people's bank details and passwords being leaked from a company in India, for god's sake), and have our private lives invaded at every turn by bastards trying to sell us stuff and CCTV everywhere we go - where will it end? Electronic tagging at birth? This was the stuff of science fiction not so long ago. How frightening that it has already become a reality.

ID cards will NOT prevent terrorism, identity fraud, crime, illegal immigration or anything else. If you think they will, you are deluded. How could they? If you think that it won't be possible to fake these cards, think again.

There are many reasons to feel apprehensive about these cards. Here's just one: Do you want your most personal details, including your DNA, stored in a database that's administered by incompetent government beaurocrats, and open to hackers? Just think of how woefully incompetent the Inland Revenue are - not to mention local authorities. Your personal information is not safe in the hands of these morons.

WAKE UP BRITAIN. REFUSE TO COMPLY.

Hello, Pussy?*

BoreMe.com is a collection of videos, jokes and pictures that we've all seen before (but it's nice to have them all in one place, I suppose). One not to be missed is the bizarre Japanese music video featuring pretty young girls simulating sexual acts in time with the ridiculous music (with varying degrees of skill and motivation). Some of them look bored shitless! Find this in the Bore me Rigid (Adult) section (currently 4th on the list of 'latest'). I'd seen this before, but the version I saw previously was MUCH longer. Trouble is, I can't remember what it's called or where to find it. Any ideas? I know Cowki will know ;-)

Other things of note include the Windows Music thing, which is geeky but clever, and the airport practical joke thing, which always raises a smile (eg, "Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DaBahzted" which reads like "My colleague just farted and the left the room, the bastard").

I had a gander at the BoreMe shop and pissed myself with laughter at some of the items, so decided to order a few things for a mate's birthday, including a lighter and a couple of rude cards. I rang the shop today to check what was happening to my order. A friendly and very well-spoken lady on the other end of the phone said, "We've got the buy your own fucking lighter and when I grow up I want to be a crack whore, but unfortunately, we haven't got any happy birthday cunt".

Class.


* Pussy is the name of the boutique which supplies the BoreMe shop

John Peel OBE - A Fond Farewell

Today saw the funeral of the legendary and inimitable John Peel. I am deeply saddened, as are thousands of others who grew up listening to his dulcet tones. The world has lost a very special human being. He will be sorely missed.

I marked the occasion by playing very very loud (and extremely varied!) music all day, and singing at the top of my voice. It was great. I'm sure John would have approved.

Here are some tributes from listeners.

The irreplaceable and much-loved John Peel

Bye John
Lots of love
-xXx-

Japanese Counting System

In case you were wondering what the Japanese use for counting, instead of writing 4 lines with the fifth going across like a gate (aka 'chicken scratch marks'), then have a gander at this: Tadashii

(Courtesy of J-List - a much-frequented shop for all things Japanese)

Quote of the day:

I feel like a preserved moose"
Spinal Tap

Apple disables iTunes plug-in | Tech News on ZDNet

Read about this here.

I, for one, will continue to avoid iTunes like the plague. It is totally infuriating to use and to be frank, sucks. If your machine decides to lose all your data, how are you supposed to get your songs off the iPod and back into iTunes? Exactly. Which is why I've been using ephPod for some time now. Ok, it crashes occasionally, but it's great for moving songs on and off the pod and editing tag info. Get real Apple - you're gonna lose customers through this (well, at least as far as iTunes is concerned).

Hallowed be thy rant

Our efforts for Hallowe'en consisted of buying a pumpkin and carving it. No dressing up and no drunken debauchery :-( We were invited to a fancy dress piss-up at a friend's house, but unfortunately we were too knackered to go. How sad. As we were sitting there being pestered by relentless trick or treaters, I marvelled at how clever we had been to fix the doorbell earlier that day. I also realised that kids in this country have missed the point about 'trick or treating'. They're supposed to stand there and either get a 'trick' (eg, being squirted/drenched with water), or a 'treat' (usually sweets). The adults standing at the door get to choose which one the little 'darlings' get. Nowadays, you get the feeling you should give them at least a quid to stop them petrol bombing your house or putting dog shit through the letterbox. Nice.

Poor haiku attempt of the day:
Freaks in bad outfits
Halloween is somewhat naff
Unless you get pissed

Quote of the day:

No thanks - I don't use the horse"
Christopher Morris - Brass Eye

Vanishing post

Well, that's weird. My last post has completely disappeared.

Can't remember what the quote of the day was, but the gist of the post was........

Had my hair cut and highlighted today at the usual place - Toni & Guy. It costs a bloody fortune to have the top stylist and top colourist, but once you're used to a certain lifestyle, it's hard to go back to a two-bob cut & blow dry at the local 'chav' salon. I learnt my lesson the hard way - you really do get what you pay for. Long ago, in a shit-hole of a town far, far away (in South East England), I was tired of having long, 'straight and boring' blonde hair, and decided to go for something a bit more 'styled'. Unfortunately, when the tarty young moron in the 'cheap-as-chips' local salon came at me with scissors and a face like a serial killer in a mosh pit, I had grave doubts about my decision. When she uttered the words "say goodbye to that bit of hair" and proceeded to hack at my lovely blonde locks like a crazed topiarist with epilepsy, I knew I had made a serious mistake. The result - an amazingly lop-sided cut that cost me a whopping £7 and all my remaining self-respect. Not an experience to be repeated.

Gender Dysphoria?

Apparently, I'm a geezer....

(....not a geyser, unless I fill myself with hot water and push it out really hard so that it spouts into the air. Enduring image.) I found a site called THE GENDER GENIE, which can allegedly identify your gender from a piece of prose you've written. I pasted in three of my blog entries, and for each one of these the site said I was male. The algorithm they use is bizarre to say the least, although according to their stats they're more often than not correct. What a colossal waste of time!

Something else that's largely pointless, but slightly amusing (although it's way out of date now): Enter "weapons of mass destruction" into Google and then click "I feel lucky".

Looking for fun but feeling decidedly ungroovy

Feeling a wee bit deflated today, since I found out that the work for my current client is due to cease at the end of next week. God knows what I'm going to do for money, as I've got buggar all lined up. Being self-employed can be a bitch sometimes, but the 9 to 5 humdrum is definitely worse. Have considered going on the game, but that's not really a viable option and my bf might have something to say about it.

On a lighter note, I've found something cutesy and Japanese that made me smile:
Shii's Song

And this is just mad (but very Japanese). The words 'anally' and 'retentive' spring to mind.
How to fold a shirt


Quote of the day:

It's like Dante meets Bosch in a crack lounge"
Christopher Morris - Brass Eye

Rood with a double 'o'

Chav scum!
An exclusively British phenomenon where "people of the underclass" slap on designer sports gear, Burberry-like baseball caps and nasty gold jewellery, thinking that they're the mutt's nuts . In other words, people with no taste or fashion sense whatsoever. Check out the site of the same name, where you can send in your photos of unsuspecting chavs for other people to look at and laugh. How we British love to take the piss out of people (including ourselves). I wouldn't have it any other way ;)

Smeagol McChav

(NB: I have no idea where this picture came from, so can't credit it - sorry)

Quote of the day:

I thought you said he was a getaway driver.......what the FUCK can he get away from?"
Snatch