Hallowed be thy rant

Our efforts for Hallowe'en consisted of buying a pumpkin and carving it. No dressing up and no drunken debauchery :-( We were invited to a fancy dress piss-up at a friend's house, but unfortunately we were too knackered to go. How sad. As we were sitting there being pestered by relentless trick or treaters, I marvelled at how clever we had been to fix the doorbell earlier that day. I also realised that kids in this country have missed the point about 'trick or treating'. They're supposed to stand there and either get a 'trick' (eg, being squirted/drenched with water), or a 'treat' (usually sweets). The adults standing at the door get to choose which one the little 'darlings' get. Nowadays, you get the feeling you should give them at least a quid to stop them petrol bombing your house or putting dog shit through the letterbox. Nice.

Poor haiku attempt of the day:
Freaks in bad outfits
Halloween is somewhat naff
Unless you get pissed

Quote of the day:

No thanks - I don't use the horse"
Christopher Morris - Brass Eye

Vanishing post

Well, that's weird. My last post has completely disappeared.

Can't remember what the quote of the day was, but the gist of the post was........

Had my hair cut and highlighted today at the usual place - Toni & Guy. It costs a bloody fortune to have the top stylist and top colourist, but once you're used to a certain lifestyle, it's hard to go back to a two-bob cut & blow dry at the local 'chav' salon. I learnt my lesson the hard way - you really do get what you pay for. Long ago, in a shit-hole of a town far, far away (in South East England), I was tired of having long, 'straight and boring' blonde hair, and decided to go for something a bit more 'styled'. Unfortunately, when the tarty young moron in the 'cheap-as-chips' local salon came at me with scissors and a face like a serial killer in a mosh pit, I had grave doubts about my decision. When she uttered the words "say goodbye to that bit of hair" and proceeded to hack at my lovely blonde locks like a crazed topiarist with epilepsy, I knew I had made a serious mistake. The result - an amazingly lop-sided cut that cost me a whopping £7 and all my remaining self-respect. Not an experience to be repeated.

Gender Dysphoria?

Apparently, I'm a geezer....

(....not a geyser, unless I fill myself with hot water and push it out really hard so that it spouts into the air. Enduring image.) I found a site called THE GENDER GENIE, which can allegedly identify your gender from a piece of prose you've written. I pasted in three of my blog entries, and for each one of these the site said I was male. The algorithm they use is bizarre to say the least, although according to their stats they're more often than not correct. What a colossal waste of time!

Something else that's largely pointless, but slightly amusing (although it's way out of date now): Enter "weapons of mass destruction" into Google and then click "I feel lucky".

Looking for fun but feeling decidedly ungroovy

Feeling a wee bit deflated today, since I found out that the work for my current client is due to cease at the end of next week. God knows what I'm going to do for money, as I've got buggar all lined up. Being self-employed can be a bitch sometimes, but the 9 to 5 humdrum is definitely worse. Have considered going on the game, but that's not really a viable option and my bf might have something to say about it.

On a lighter note, I've found something cutesy and Japanese that made me smile:
Shii's Song

And this is just mad (but very Japanese). The words 'anally' and 'retentive' spring to mind.
How to fold a shirt


Quote of the day:

It's like Dante meets Bosch in a crack lounge"
Christopher Morris - Brass Eye